5 Steps to Planning a Self-Guided Retreat for Moms
Today I’m sharing 5 steps to planning a self-guided retreat for moms. In my last post I shared the ‘why’ behind retreats. Today I want to share the ‘how.” First I will share a little about my first retreat. Then I’ll share 5 steps you can take toward planning a retreat of your own. In the last step, I’ll provide you with some ideas for coaching yourself through the thoughts that might come up during your retreat. Finally, I’ll share some ways that I can support you on your retreat. If a weekend away seems too much right now, I will also provide a resource at the end of this post for planning a one hour retreat.
Step 1: Choose a time and plan child care
Plan to be away for at least two nights. It will take a while for your body, mind and heart to adjust to being alone. You might experience some guilt, especially if you are leaving your kids with a spouse who has never been alone with the kids for several days. Bad feelings do not always mean we’re doing something bad. If you experience inner struggle over the idea of going on retreat, then make sure to read step #5 where we address some of these feelings.
Your husband is most likely a competent and intelligent man who loves you and loves his children. Getting the opportunity to care for the children alone for a weekend is a good thing and will help him be a better father. It’s a chance for him to learn and grow in new ways. He is not babysitting, he is being a father to his kids. That is right and good.
** Disclaimer: This does not apply to situations of abuse. If you are concerned about your husband abusing your children in your absence then please seek professional help immediately and seek an alternative child care situation.
Step 2: Choose a location for your retreat
You want to choose a location that is at least 1 hour from your home. The drive there and back will be a good time to prepare and reflect.
Some location ideas
Before you book your location, use a map software such as Google Maps to virtually ‘drive’ around the area. You want to make sure that you’ll feel safe there.
Step 3: Instead of an Itinerary, Create a Menu of Activities
Make a list of places you’d like to visit on your retreat. Think of this as a weekend away with Jesus. If you get coffee, you’re getting coffee with Jesus. If you go shopping, you’re picking out clothes with Jesus. Think of it as a comfortable silence with the One you love. You don’t have to be in dedicated prayer to be spending quality time with Him. Leave your to-do lists at home. This is a time for rest.
Some activity ideas to get you started:
Step 4: Your Packing List
This is the time for your comfiest clothes and favorite pillow. Bring along anything and everything that will bring you comfort. Pack a fluffy robe, fuzzy slippers, your favorite teas. Pack one outfit for Mass. Wear outfits that help you feel ‘you.’ Only bring books that will bring enjoyment. Leave bossy books at home. Pack a journal and nice pen, along with any craft projects you’ve always wanted to do. You can even pack your sewing machine! You are used to packing comfort items for your kids, so now it’s time to pack comfort items for yourself.
Step 5: Make the Choice to Enjoy Yourself
You might be tempted to worry during your retreat. This is understandable. You’re used to being the primary caretaker and organizer of the home. You’re doing a great job as a mom. Your family will be okay while you’re away. Worrying won’t serve them, but resting will. You’ll go home rested and recharged, ready to face the demands of motherhood. It’s vital that you take control of your thoughts while you’re away. You get to choose which thoughts you feed and which ones you starve. Feed the helpful thoughts.
Here is a list of thoughts that might come up and how to reframe them:
Weary mom, it’s time for retreat.
Planning your first retreat can feel daunting, but the rewards will be worth it. By following these five steps you can create a retreat that will support your own personal growth and spiritual wellbeing. If you need some extra support, please reach out to me. Email me at coach@amandaheider.com and I’ll be happy to answer your questions and help you on your journey. If you prefer a more personal, live support, then I can create a coaching package based on your needs. I can coach you one time during your retreat or we can set up dates before, during and after your retreat to help you work through any of the thoughts that might sabotage the benefits of your time away.
Thank you for spending this time with me and I’m praying for you as you plan your retreat. Today I’ve shared five steps for planning your retreat, including some ways to reframe your thoughts. Please write to me and let me know how your retreat goes. What are some of the things you enjoyed? Are there things you’ll do differently next time? How can I can support you on your journey to incorporating retreat into your life?
If you want to go on retreat, but this feels like too much, then make sure to fill in your email address to receive a free one hour retreat planner and guide. Even just one hour in dedicated retreat will make a difference on your peace. This guide will provide a framework for how to spend that hour long retreat. This is also a great way to maintain the benefits that you’ll gain from your retreat.
