What to Do When You Don’t Know What to Do
We are all struggling in the face of global suffering so today we’re discussing what to do when you don’t know what to do.
You’re watching the news and you want to do something but you feel helpless in the face of massive tragedy. You feel powerless to combat the crimes being committed.
What do you do in the face of it?
I don’t always know what to do
I admit I get cowardly, overwhelmed and start to shrink away. I’m so afraid of sounding tone deaf that I avoid saying anything. I stop posting in my business and personal social media accounts. My nervous system starts to feel like it’s running on overdrive. Everything feels harder and I can’t seem to function as well as I normally could.
In all of it, I know how self-serving I can sound when I talk about how I’m feeling. Since I’m not being bombed, it seems self-absorbed to admit that I’m struggling.
Do you feel this way too? Do you feel like you’re looking around for Mr. Rogers to direct you to the helpers and teach you how to navigate these big feelings you’re having?
I do to.
You don’t want a clogged soul
You’re not alone in your feelings. Your feelings mean that you’re a human who cares about other humans. The worst thing you can do is to try to stuff those feelings down and pretend they aren’t there. Do you know what happens when we do that? Those feelings start to grow and fester like an infection in our soul. They spread through us and out of us, infecting everyone around us. They start to rot and curdle until the words running out of our mouth are full of anger instead of love.
Ignoring your feelings, because other people have it worse, is one way to let evil win.
In order to combat evil it’s necessary for you to process those feelings and let them pass through you so they don’t eat away at you. You fight evil by processing your feelings and freeing up your soul to give and receive love. Unrepressed feelings clog up your soul. No goodness can come in or go out. You will grow bitter and angry.
How to process your feelings, especially when you don’t know what else to do.
If you are struggling with some big feelings then here are some steps you can take to process them.
Set aside a good block of time and find a quiet space to be with your thoughts. A great time is when you’re lying in your bed after everyone is asleep.
Start with a prayer and ask the Holy Spirit to give you the grace you need to process your feelings.
Then you’re going to try to identify where you’re feeling them in your body. It could be a tingling in your ears, a tightness in your throat or a queasiness in your stomach.
Next, try to connect with the emotion you’re having. It’s okay if you can’t quite name it. Our vocabulary doesn’t always cover the emotion we’re having. Maybe picture it as an image or a color. Anything that helps you connect with it. God gave you these feelings as part of your being, so ask him to help you here.
Now give yourself time to feel that feeling until you feel it pass through you and be released.
We’re doing this with zero judgement. If a voice pops in and scolds you for having this feeling, tell that voice that this is not the time for scolding. Do not judge yourself for having feelings. Feelings are amoral. It’s what we do with our feelings, including when we’re avoiding our feelings, that we demonstrate our morality.
Feelings are amoral. It’s what we do with our feelings, including when we’re avoiding our feelings, that we demonstrate our morality.
My coach likes to say, “Don’t should all over yourself.” If you start saying “I shouldn’t feel this way,” or “I should feel that way” then silence those ‘shoulds.’ They won’t help you.
You will know that you processed your feelings because there is a lightness in your soul and some of the physical symptoms are gone. You’ve given your nervous system a chance to process things through and rest so that it can take on the next set of trials.
If you find that you are really struggling to get out of bed or function as you normally would, then it’s time to seek professional help. Just like you call a doctor for a broken leg, it’s time to call a therapist if you’re struggling emotionally or mentally. Getting help does’t mean you’re weak. Your amount of trust in God is not negated by your need for help. You simply need something healed inside.
It might take a while to find a therapist who’s the right fit for you. That’s okay. Keep trying. The best thing you can do for yourself and those around you is to begin to heal from those internal wounds.
I want to hear how you’re doing. Send me an email at coach@amandaheider.com and tell me how I can pray for you today.
