Why Do We Need Friends?

Did you know that one of the most effective ways to improve your health is through friendship? According to the CDC, fulfilling relationships provide a reduced risk of dementia, heart disease, stroke and even premature death¹.

Today we’re covering this vital but often overlooked component of a healthy lifestyle. We’ll start by discussing the challenges to making new friends, then learn about the importance of friendship and who we can turn to as an example of friendship, and we’ll end with a two-part challenge for this week.

As military families, we know the pain of loneliness. If you’re the service member, you’ve likely spent long periods of time away from your home and family. It’s possible to feel isolated even while you’re surrounded by people. Your mind is focused on your work but your heart is longing for home. If you’re the military spouse then you’ve experienced the loneliness of long nights on your own managing the home and family. Constant moves mean stressful periods in a new duty station trying to establish new friendships and community, all while grieving the friends left behind.

Have you ever found yourself saying, “I really want friends, but I just don’t have the time…” It’s a common sentiment among military families. The longer we’ve been in this lifestyle the more weary we get around making new friends. It’s tiring to start all over again. It is a struggle sometimes to make time for friendship. There are so many demands on our time and it all feels like too much. If that’s you, make sure to read on. Making and keeping friends could be just the key for a healthier life and a stronger family.

Following Jesus’s example for friendship

Why do we need friends? Because Jesus taught us that friendship is vital to a life well lived.

Jesus was only in ministry for three years, and during that short time He still made time for His friends. He did that to teach us how and why. Our Lord knows how hard it is to be a human and how much our friends can hurt us.

Jesus had the perfect excuse to avoid making and keeping friends. It would have been easy for him to say, “I’m only in ministry for three years and because I have such a short time I need to put all of my focus on ministering to people. I just don’t have time for friends right now.” He didn’t do that. Instead, He invested considerable time building and growing His friendships.

Jesus needed friends, so we need friends.

So how do we go about finding, making and keeping friends? It’s going to take courage. You might be afraid to put yourself out there. That’s okay. The necessary ingredient for bravery is fear. It’s okay to feel afraid as you step out and try to make new friends

Being vulnerable is scary. Your new friends might hurt you and betray you. Jesus understands. His friends hurt and betrayed Him too. You must not despair and hide. There is someone out there who is begging God for a new friend and just waiting for you to come into their life and be their friend. The pain of isolation is more dangerous to your health than the potential pain of betrayal. You need friends in order to thrive, and your friends need you.

Take the Challenge

If you find that you’re lacking close friendships, I want to offer you a two-part challenge this week.

First, ask the intercession of St. Anthony to help you find your new friend, but most importantly to find faith, hope and love.
Second, talk to three new people this week. It could be at the grocery store, church, a mom’s group, or in your neighborhood. It’s possible that one of those people has been praying for a friend like you to come along and introduce yourself.

As you invest in strong, healthy friendships you will find your loneliness begin to subside and your health improve. God is Community. He is Three Persons in One. You are made in His image and hardwired to need other people. A fulfilling life needs friendship. What kind of life will you choose to lead?

What if it feels too hard?

If you’re reading this, and your heart is still heavy and full of despair, I want to share the words that Jesus spoke to His friend. After weeping over the death of His friend, Jesus spoke into the grave and called His friend forward. You might feel like that today. Your body is alive but your soul feels like it’s slowly dying. It’s time to come forth out of that grave and into fully living your life. You have one shot at this life and it’s a great one. If you need professional help, seek help. Take that step today.

If you are doing well but just want some extra support in making and building new friendships, make sure to contact me for a coaching consultation call. We’ll put together a plan to help you to move forward in finding, making and keeping strong friendships.

Today we covered some of the reasons why we need friendship, that we need to follow Jesus example in building friendship, and some actions steps to take this week. Make sure to send me an email at coach@amandaheider.com and let me know your challenge goes. I’m praying for you. You’ve got this. Your new friend is waiting for you so get out there and meet them!

¹ https://www.cdc.gov/aging/publications/features/lonely-older-adults.html